At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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