Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize