He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
