put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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