Ambien. No doubt about it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
