What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
