You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I can't put those talents on a resume
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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