Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
