i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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