This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
