Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.

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(845): View more from New York

no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill

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(415): View more from California

I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.

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(303): View more from Colorado

And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink

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(214): View more from Texas

His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's

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(571): View more from Virginia

Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?

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