I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
