have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
