how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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