She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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