My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize
