I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Drunk is not a location!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
