It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
