well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
