just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
