i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
