Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
