Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
