so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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