You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
