Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Do vagina's smell?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
