yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
