she was so not down for the gang bang
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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