I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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