She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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