Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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