he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Your penis caused this!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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