physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
this must be what syphilis tastes like
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
