The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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