she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
