So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm at about main and main street
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize