do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
How's work?
Spinning.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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