Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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