Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
