What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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