its not stalking. its research.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
