So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
