very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
