We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
