a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
