If that was your dad, he is hot
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
