how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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