In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
