Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He felt like a one man threesome
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
