This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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