So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
