Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
