Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize