I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dicks are not precious.
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