I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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