there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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