I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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