M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
