You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I bet he comes in French.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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