It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
