Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize