His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
