I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
