im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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